SS#182: A Philosophy of Busyness
If you’re busy, does that mean you’re doing something wrong? In this episode, we talk about how to tell when a full schedule is helping you do the work God has given you and when it’s helping you avoid it.
The Many Faces of Busyness
Today’s Hosts and Source
Brandy Vencel
Mystie Winckler
Abby Wahl
Scholé Every Day: What We’re Reading
Scrolling Ourselves to Death, Brett McCracken
Abby is reading Scrolling Ourselves to Death as part of her digital technology category; she appreciates its Christian worldview and finds its application of Postman’s ideas to the internet, AI, and social media excellent so far.
The Quest for Cosmic Justice, Thomas Sowell
Mystie is reading The Quest for Cosmic Justice at her 16yo son’s recommendation; she highlights Sowell’s distinction between judging everyone by the same standard and seeking equality of outcome, and sees it as a potential retreat resource on justice.
The Executive Functioning Workbook for Adults, Melissa Grossberg
Brandy bought The Executive Functioning Workbook for Adults on Abby’s recommendation; she has only begun working through it and hopes it will help her offer better advice to mothers who need to build their own habits while training their children.
Can Busyness & Scholé Coexist?
“Keep cutting back until there is peace in your home” can be really good advice in one situation and really bad advice in another. Does scholé, or leisurely learning, require a mom to have a less busy life?
Mystie’s answer is simple. If it did, they’d have to kick her off the podcast.
What makes busyness good depends on what a mom is doing and why. If she knows she should be patient and cuts out everything that makes her feel impatient, she’s getting out of needing the virtue. When she takes the time to think and pray about what God has called her to do, she can make a prudent decision about whether to go to the library, go to the park, or join another activity.
The New Testament calls Christians to abound in good works. For a busy mom, that means the question worth asking is whether the work filling her days helps her pour out her life for the good of others. The servants who went out, took a risk, and put what they’d been given to work were commended. The servant who took the safe route and kept his talent tucked away was rebuked.
Sloth doesn’t always look lazy
We tend to picture sloth as a person turning over in bed for “a little sleep, a little slumber.” But sloth is also failing to do what we’re supposed to do. Sometimes being still and doing something that looks inactive is exactly what we need to do. Being super active and overscheduled can be a cover, a way to avoid the work we ought to be attending to.
Every yes is also a no to something else. A mom who says yes to everything because she’s afraid of missing out still misses out. A mom who becomes “the party of no” can dodge the decision just as easily. Both responses let her run on autopilot.
Making a real decision takes time to think, pray, and weigh what’s best for her family. What is she saying yes to? What will that yes cost? And, as Abby puts it, “What problem do I want to have?”
Know your priorities before saying “yes” (or “no”)
Brandy knew she was “completely incompetent after 1:00 p.m.” when her kids were little. She wanted to go to the women’s Bible study, but if she waited until afternoon to do school, school wasn’t going to happen. Once she’d decided that mornings were for homeschooling, she could give morning activities an automatic no. She’d already made the decision.
Mystie wanted her children to be in fellowship with one another, read widely, and take initiative. Staying in fellowship took time and sometimes derailed lessons. Spelling and handwriting got a little time here and there. Some of her kids didn’t care about their handwriting until high school, and when it started to bother them, they found their own ways to fix it.
With teenagers, a priority might mean spending a couple of hours in the car. Brandy wanted her kids to work, earn a wage, and learn the value of money. For a while, that meant driving them to work. It also meant staying up when they got home late and skipping the 8 a.m. coffee plans.
Teenagers have big conversations at completely unpredictable times. A long drive without direct eye contact or quesadillas at nine can give those conversations a chance to happen.
Mentioned in the Episode
Listen to related episodes:
SS #144: De-stress with Natural Consequences
SS #45: Need Scholé? Just Add Joy!
SS #22: Don’t Lose That Lovin’ Feelin’
SS #01: Preventing Burnout Through Levity
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