SS#147 – Strong Mothers, Special Needs (with Adelaide Garner!!)

Today we are going to talk about special needs – specifically things like autism, sensory processing disorder, etc.

This is not intended to be a list of recommendations for treatment but rather a philosophical discussion – how do our ideas intersect with how we handle various trials our children encounter?

What ideas do we hold and how do those work out practically in our motherhood?

Learning about Special Needs

Today’s Hosts and Guest

Adelaide Garner

Adelaide is wife to Ben, and mother to four little treasures. They are Reformed Evangelical Christians. She was a pastor’s wife for many years, but their family has moved into Ben owning a small business in the past few years. Adelaide and Ben are second generation homeschoolers and homeschool using Charlotte Mason’s principles. They live in a 120-year-old farmhouse on several acres outside of Houston, Texas. Six years ago she decided to become a certified health coach after many years of struggling with her own health. When she started learning to ask better questions, she found that she started to find better answers for her health and the health of her family. She enjoys helping other women find a grateful, sober-minded, and non-anxious approach to caring for the wellbeing of their families, to the Glory of God.

“God made our bodies to heal and anything that you’re going to be doing out of anxiety is the wrong decision.”

Adelaide Garner

Scholé Every Day: What We’re Reading

The Didascalicon of Hugh of Saint Victor: A Guide to the Arts, Hugh of St. Victor, translated by Jerome Taylor

Abby is reading Hugh of St. Victor for a secret Scholé Sisters project.

The Intellectual Life: It’s Spirit, Condition, Methods, A.G. Sertillanges

Brandy is reading Sertillanges for the same secret project. Any guesses what it might be?

The Convivial Homeschool: Gospel Encouragement for Keeping Your Sanity While Living Alongside Your Kids, Mystie Winckler

Adelaide is reading Mystie’s book with her local homeschool book club.

The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother, Heng Ou, Amely Greeven, Marisa Belger

Adelaide, being near delivery, is reading a book on navigating postpartum life.

Moms as Advocates for Special Needs Kids

On Healing, Wholeness, and Hope: A Mother’s Journey with Sensory Processing Disorder

In the pursuit of healing, few journeys are as deeply personal or as transformative as a mother’s dedication to nurturing her child. Adelaide’s story is one of intentional care, shaped not by a desire to fix or control but by a compassionate pursuit of her daughter’s flourishing.

Before becoming a mother, Adelaide immersed herself in reflection and study, preparing for the challenges and blessings that lay ahead. From this foundation, she and her husband have embraced a way of caring for their daughter that harmonizes acceptance with a hopeful vision of healing.

When Adelaide’s oldest daughter began exhibiting signs of sensory processing disorder—delayed speech, limited eye contact, echolalia, and head-banging—the path forward was not clear. Some practitioners cautioned against an official diagnosis, yet Adelaide observed familiar behaviors that echoed her and her husband’s own childhood experiences.

Trusting her intuition and the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and also being informed by past reading, she embarked on a journey of alternative treatments, seeking to build a life of healing and joy for her daughter.

Adelaide’s Principles of Healing

Adelaide’s approach rests on the timeless wisdom that healing is both a journey and a partnership, woven from many threads. Her philosophy respects her daughter’s individuality while also holding out hope for transformation.

She sees healing as both an acceptance of her daughter’s unique nature and a commitment to unlock her full potential. In this tension lies a powerful sense of purpose, one that guides every choice Adelaide and her husband make for their family.

This path reflects the classical ideal of scholé, a word often translated as “restful learning.” For Adelaide, restful learning means trusting that her family’s journey is not defined by diagnoses but by the gradual, steady work of cultivating a life of health and joy. Below, she shares key elements of her approach:

1. Homeopathy as a Path to Healing: Early on, Adelaide chose to address her daughter’s symptoms through homeopathy, witnessing significant improvements in speech and behavior. The end of head-banging and the emergence of speech were milestones in their journey, underscoring the power of individualized care and natural remedies.
2. A Philosophy of Hopeful Potential: Adelaide speaks of two perspectives on autism and sensory challenges: one that treats the child as an unchangeable puzzle piece and another that sees potential for growth, as though seeking the “key” to unlock the child’s unique gifts. Her philosophy aligns with the latter, encouraging both acceptance and hope.
3. A Nourishing, Whole Foods Diet: Recognizing the power of food to impact health, Adelaide introduced a whole-foods diet for her family, inspired by stories of other families who experienced transformation through nutrition. This choice reflects her belief in the interconnectedness of body and mind, and in the beauty of simplicity in daily life.
4. Attention to Environment: Understanding that a child’s surroundings shape their well-being, Adelaide and her husband ensure their home is a haven. Clean air, safe water, and a toxin-free environment are not merely practicalities but expressions of love and care.
5. The Mother’s Own Health: Aware that her own health influences her daughter’s, Adelaide emphasizes the role of self-care. Through her own homeopathic treatments, she has seen positive changes in her own outlook and energy, which in turn have contributed to her daughter’s progress.
6. High Behavioral Standards with Compassion: Guided by the belief that children rise to meet our expectations, Adelaide and her husband set clear, compassionate standards for behavior. Rather than treating her daughter as fragile or limited, they see her as a capable individual, guiding her with love and discipline.
7. A Supportive Community: Adelaide finds strength in a community that shares her values and understands her journey. This sense of shared purpose and support has been a wellspring of encouragement, providing insights, perspective, and camaraderie on the path to healing.

Reflections and Advice for Fellow Mothers

For mothers who, like Adelaide, are navigating the joys and struggles of raising children with sensory challenges, she offers this heartfelt advice:

1. Savor Moments of Joy: Prioritize joyful connection, even in small, fleeting moments. A few minutes of laughter each day can be a balm for both mother and child, building a foundation of trust and affection that enriches the journey.
2. Limit the Research: In our information-rich world, it is easy to become overwhelmed by data. Adelaide advises setting boundaries on research, allowing intuition and insight to guide decisions rather than anxiety and overload.
3. Seek Wisdom and Guidance: Prayer and reflective time can offer clarity and peace, helping mothers to trust that their intuition and experiences are valuable guides. For Adelaide, this trust has been a source of both direction and comfort.
4. Nurture Unity with Your Partner: Caregiving is a shared journey, and unity between partners is essential. By supporting each other and aligning in their approach, both parents create a strong foundation for their child’s growth.
5. Focus on One Approach at a Time: Avoid the temptation to try everything at once; instead, focus on one method at a time, allowing space to observe and understand what truly helps.
6. Seek External Support: Professional insight can be invaluable. Adelaide encourages mothers not to carry the entire burden alone, recognizing that others’ perspectives can shed light on new paths forward.
7. Make Decisions from Peace, Not Anxiety: When faced with choices, Adelaide advises approaching decisions with calm reflection, seeking peace rather than succumbing to fear-driven actions.
8. Celebrate Small Progress: Documenting even minor milestones can provide encouragement, affirming the worth and dignity of each step forward, however small.
9. Express Love Through Attention: The simple acts of making eye contact, smiling, and engaging with a child convey acceptance and love. These moments are often as powerful as any therapy or treatment.
10. Mind Your Health, Too: A mother’s strength and health are vital resources. Adelaide emphasizes that self-care is not indulgent but essential, empowering mothers to give fully and joyfully.

Through these insights, Adelaide’s story reflects the classical, restful spirit of scholé—a journey of quiet perseverance, enduring hope, and deep love. Her story is a reminder to mothers everywhere that healing and growth are possible, one thoughtful step at a time.

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